OKStupid

So, on a dare (I really need to rethink* my policy of accepting dares), I've started online dating. If you have ever considered online dating you may be wondering what it's all about. As a public service I am posting my dos and don'ts of online dating...

Dos:

Have a sense of humor, because if you aren't laughing about what you're reading you will definitely be crying.

Have someone take a nice picture of you for your profile...mirror selfies suck!

*Check your spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Please.

Send messages and chat with new people. What are the odds that they're ALL serial killers? Really, someone figure it out and tell me the odds.

Disable your account occasionally and let your sanity reboot.


Don'ts:

Be shocked by the ridiculousness of humanity. We're quite ridiculous.

Get frustrated. Some nice man is sure to send you an unsolicited dick pic any day now.

Expect to find true love. I suppose it could happen, but what are the odds? Really, someone figure it out and tell me the odds.

Hesitate to hit the "block him" button. Life's too short to be polite to aggressive internet strangers.

Stop spending time with real people. Real people are better than virtual people. (Except Robert Pattinson. Virtual Robert Pattinson is better than most real people.)

Follow these simple dos and don'ts and soon you too will be an online dating expert. Good night and good luck.


*As I was typing I looked at the screen and thought, "Does rethink have a hyphen? I'm not sure, I'll Google it." Seriously people, check your spelling, punctuation, and grammar. The answers are at your fingertips.

Peer Pressure Isn't Just for Fun

Oh me from yesterday, I have a message from the future: you do not want to train for a triathlon. Seriously. 

My new New Year's Resolution is to chill out and stop being crazy (perhaps more difficult than the triathlon).

Resolutions Are Dumb: I Am Dumb (2014 Edition)

Tonight, after watching the new episode of Sherlock, somehow it was decided that I would begin training for a triathlon. What?

Tomorrow I will be shopping for goggles, a swimsuit, and shoes. Friday morning at 6:30 (?) I will begin swim classes. Saturday I'll be running (probably walking). And Sunday I will get on a bicycle for the first time in years (apparently it's as easy as riding a bike).

Besides triathlon training I also resolve to blog about the experience...because. Seriously, I need a life because boredom and desperation are driving me towards insane choices (also as easy as riding a bike).

Stay tuned as the adventure begins...

Rant of a Spring Breaker

I am on Spring Break (WooHoo) this week. Sound fun? Are you jealous? Wish you had a whole week off from school, or work, or whatever? Well, I'm going to let you in on a little secret . . . Spring Break sucks. In the next week I need to do so much schoolwork that it's no break at all. Not to mention, I am staying at my parents' house for the week, so, you know, not really relaxing. Also it's, like, a million degrees here in the desert . . . Why am I planning to move back here after graduation?

So, I'm sitting here, procrastinating and pondering my schedule for the next several days. The good news? The end is in sight. One way or another I will be done with school and graduating on May 10. I can't wait! Now, if I can just survive Spring Break.

School is for Suckers #schoolsucks

Look at this pretty picture, it might make you think, "Wow, that looks like an impressive institution of higher learning. Maybe I should go to there." I hope you didn't make the same mistake I did, this is not actually an institution of higher learning; this is an institution of busy work and drone creation. But, at least it has a Quidditch team.

I will concede that a Quidditch team does lend a bit of credibility. So, yay, NAU. At least you don't totally suck.

Ode To A Snow Day

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

A drift of snow can reach, when closing down the school

For the ends of classes and extreme boredom.

I love thee to the level of today’s

Most quiet need, by snow and television light.

I love thee freely, as I strive for laziness;

I love thee purely, as I marathon The Doctor.

I love thee with a passion put to use

In my current state, and with my childhood’s delight.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my student’s brain, --- I love thee with the breath,

Songs, happy dances, of all my life! --- and, if Mother Nature choose,

I shall but love thee better tomorrow.

Tuesday Morn

Since my last post (April 2011) I have changed my entire life. I am less than three months away from graduating from college (Yay Me!) and I live in the mountains (winter sucks, btw). For one of my classes I am required to read some blogs and pay attention to the writing and use of images. As I was perusing some interesting blogs I thought, "hey, I should restart my blog." So, here I am blogging rather than reading the article we will inevitably be discussing in class in about an hour. I'm going to get back to schoolwork, but, as Michael Scott would say,"I'll be back...and I am back!"